xTheLostSailorx,
I want to say that I am sorry that you are going through all of this and that I understand.
But in truth, and honesty, no matter how similar human beings are, and no matter how similar their situations may be, eerybody goes through them in a different way.
I know what it is like though to lose my friends due to something that I had no control over.
All I can tell you is that there are people whom do care for you, probably even more then you know or realize, and it is for them, and more importantly, for yourself, that you need to continue to try your hardest to get through your every day life.
It is hard!
I know that...
But I do know that you can get through it. Like I said, it is hard, but you are an amazing and stubborn individual, and I am sure that you can pull through this.
You can, I know you can.
Just try to keep your spirits high, even when you are feeling low, and think about the people that you do have in your life, and not only that, but what you, xTheLostSailorx, want in life, and what you want to do as a person, as an individual.
I wish you the highest probability of success. You truly deserve it my dear friend.
And if you ever need anybody to talk to, you know how to find me. I will always be here for you.
Keep your head held high. People would kill to see you fail.
Sincerely,
FaeryTaleAngel